paul vincent

March 13, 2008

this is inspired by selvo’s touching post.

eight years ago today, our firstborn was a stillbirth. it was the most painful experience i have ever encountered in my life. more painful because i attribute the tragedy to my wrong decision.

two months after we got married in november 1998, wifey had two lines. as short as the waiting time before the baby was conceived, it was a D & C going on the third month.

when she conceived the second time, we have paul vincent as a name if its a boy (from the lolo’s of both sides–fulgencio and vicente) or berna isabelle if its a girl (from the lola’s–bernardita and isabel).

the motions we went all through them–regular check-ups, walks, petition at the monastery for safe pregnancy, lab work-ups, etc.

her ob-gyne went for induced labor but it turned out, like in mikee cojuangco’s case, she’s good under C-section. the transfer to another hospital proved a little, but critically, too late.

he went six feet under with my name in his grave marker.

a golfer missing his putt in the last hole in a championship game by an inch, a haggard traveler a second too late for his connecting flight out of a war zone, a rookie cager splitting charities–different scenarios, practically the same sense of loss.

while wifey had her way of coping–she relates the ordeal with detail to anybody who cares to listen–i would



  1. oh.. so sorry for your loss. i hope u don’t blame yourself too much for what happened. things happen for a reason. life can be cruel at times. its how we cope with the pain and the sad memories of the past that make us stronger.

    smile bro! good day!

  2. i was kinda surprised by the post’s title, i have a friend named paul vincent. it was when i started to read the post that i realized you were referring to your son. sorry for the loss.

    “death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

  3. I’m so sorry chad for the loss of your son. If I can comfort you, I’m sure the baby is up there already since babies have immaculate soul, therefore they go straight to heaven.

    God has plans and sometimes the odds are far better than what we expect.

    Peace and all good bro.

  4. My first time to come in your site. I” sorry for the loss of your son. Don’t much worry, soon God will give you a healthy boy. Your still young.

  5. @azrael ika nga what doesn’t kill us make us stronger

    @rukee tnx for visiting. nice quote, and how true..

    @bluep and nanay belen that was eight years ago. right now, i have two boys, 5 and two-and-a-half..when God said no, he only meant He’ll give me what i want in His time.

  6. nalungkot naman ako sa post mo. but you know you have someone up there watching over you.

    maligayang pasko na rin po.

  7. First time hear and I would like to say sorry for knowing about what happened.

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